Cultivating Professional Relationships that Matter

I have recently had the opportunity to conduct two 5-day international training sessions.  A common topic in both sessions was how to build and manage effective relationships across the enterprise.  One point that I stressed was how you really do not know much value to place on a relationship until something goes wrong. It is easy to have a pleasant relationship when everything goes well. Long-lasting, and the most valuable relationships, go through ups and downs. Those who start pointing fingers and placing blame at the first sign of perceived issues are revealing just how much they really value a relationship.  Here are 5 best practices I use to help myself build valuable professional relationships:

1. Realize people make mistakes. How people communicate with me after a mistake, and whether or not they own it, is what matters to me.
2. Take the blame if an issue arises every so often if it helps you move forward to resolve an issue.  At times I accept the blame when things are not my fault, but anyone who expects this as a general practice will lose my loyalty and respect.
3. Communicate directly, not be e-mail, if an issue, perceived or real, has arisen. E-mail is a terrible way to communicate if any issue of consequence needs to be addressed.
4. Communicate in a positive tone if there is a mistake made by your professional colleague. Attacking someone has no value, and if your colleague has “earned the benefit of the doubt” you should be even more pleasant in how you address a mistake.
5. Focus on the resolution to an issue and not blame. If someone points the finger at me I convey that I want to focus on the root cause and the resolution, and if it important to them then we can assign blame later.

I have developed these best practices over my career, and only by making mistakes relative to each of the points above is how I offer an informed opinion.  At times, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. 

It is key to anyone’s career success that they build long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships. Each person must define what that means to them. For me, anyone who expects me to be perfect and does not want an honest relationship will be disappointed in terms of the duration and depth of our relationship.